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Hey, what’s new?!

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Hope you guys are able to keep up with my once a month blogging. ::snort::

So, nothing much to report here, as of late. Pretty sure AF is on her way any day now. The good thing about that is that we have decided to give injectables another try, starting on the next cycle. So, there’s that!

Summer has been ok so far. We are in the middle of some not so nice, or Summery weather at the moment.

Later this week, we are going to see Elton John at the Paleo Music Festival, a few towns over. So, that should be cool!

A few weeks ago, we hosted a 4th of July party. It ended up being pretty fun! Here are some of the highlights:

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My manicure for the party was done by Saskia, you can check her out here!

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Our Tiki Bar and patio were ready to go!

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Vegan Jello Shooters! Can you believe it!? I may have had a few too many of these ;)

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Who doesn’t love cupcakes?!

Since we’re vegan, we told people it was “BYOGS” or, “Bring Your Own Grilling Stuff,” and boy did they ever!  D was kept busy on the grill for quite a while.  And people actually brought vegan side dishes as well, which was nice!

Oh, I almost forgot!  D told everyone before-hand that it would be my birthday a few days later, and so he organized a little surprise-ambush, with a vegan cake and everything!  It was nice :)

So, other than all that, I’ve been really busy with dog-boarding.  I’m am pretty much filled up until we leave for vacation in September.  We are going to go to the Cape Cod area for a wedding, then Mexico to an all inclusive resort!  I’ve never been to one before, and I can’t wait!  Then to Miami for a few days.  Then, I think I’m going to try and go home again, because my parents have to leave in the fall, and this might be the last chance ever that I get to go there!  :(  So I could end up being gone from Switzerland for quite some time, which of course, is all right with me!

I hope the summer has be enjoyable for you!

Robin Roberts makes me cry.

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So, you guys know who Robin Roberts is, right?  The super awesome and high-spirited lady from Good Morning America?

She totally makes me feel like a bad person. But, in a good way.

The other day, I caught this clip of her from some thing she did with Oprah. I now can’t watch it, because it’s saying it’s not available in my country.  (Thanks Oprah :(  But, I guess you have a reason to hate Switzerland and all, so it’s cool.)

If you’re in the US, just Google “Robin Roberts Oprah Master Class.”  I’m sure the little clip I saw wasn’t the whole thing, but it sure got my tears flowing.

Robin Roberts has been through SO MUCH you guys.  (I seriously want to read her book.)  But she is still so optimistic and faithful. (And Happy!)   And when I watched her clip, she was saying something to the tune of what a lot of people say, and that is there is a better plan that you just don’t know about yet.  Now, usually when I hear this, it really gets my blood boiling.  But for some reason, when RR said it, I just started crying!

How can this woman, who has (among other things) had breast cancer, and MDS, still show up on TV every day smiling?  How has she not lost her faith, after all that she’s gone through?

Now, I’ll admit.  I’ve never been a deeply religious person.  But after 3 miscarriages, you really start to think that someone is playing a cruel trick on you.  It’s so easy to be like, “Why me?” and give every pregnant lady out there a serious case of side-eye.  You start to be like, “Well screw you too!” To whoever is calling the shots up there.  But I don’t WANT to be like that.  It’s exhausting.  Lately my solution has just been to remove all stimuli. IE, blocking every mother and pregnant friend on Facebook.  Totally healthy, right?

So, does anyone want to chime in on how not to be a crabby, universe hating barren woman?  (I know this is a reoccurring theme here.)

Maybe I’ll just make a bracelet that says “WWRRD?”

Vegan Pineapple ‘n Cream Cookies

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Vegan Pineapple 'n Cream Cookies, The Swiss Wife-Style

 

Howdy!  How’s it going?  I like to pretend that here in Switzerland, we are in full-blown Summer.  Sadly, this is not the case.  While it HAS been quite nice and mostly warm lately, we are still getting days where a chilly wind is blowing in!  (Like this morning.)

So I was asked to bring dessert tonight for a family dinner over at my in-laws.  I was craving something that said Summer to me.  (And yes, I know you’re not actually supposed to capitalize “Summer” but I think seasons deserve to be capitalized.  I know I am weird…)  I searched my “I Heart Summer” Pinterest board, and came across a pin for Peaches ‘n Cream cookies.  (You can find the original post here.)  They seemed pretty easy to veganize, so I gave it a shot.  The only thing I didn’t have was peach preserves!  I did, however have on hand pineapple jam, which is just pretty awesome in itself.  I figured I would just use that, and heck, maybe get a little crazy and throw some shredded coconut on top!

So that’s pretty much just what I did!

The only things you need to replace from the original recipe are the butter (use margarine) and the heavy whipping cream.  For this I used a soy/coconut whipping cream I found at this store, in Lausanne.  If you are a vegan and living in the Lausanne area, and haven’t been to this store, you are missing out!

But if you can’t find anything like that, I’m pretty sure you could use a nice heavy full-fat coconut milk, or coconut cream. or some other vegan cream replacement.   The soy/coconut whipping cream I used didn’t really taste that coconutty.  If you use straight-up coconut milk or cream, the coconut flavor might come through, so maybe you could call them pina-colada cookies?!  I’ll have to try this some day :)

It says on the website to bake at 350f for 14 or so minutes.  I found that on 180c in my Swiss oven, the first batch could come out at 12, and after that, you’re probably good to go at 10 minutes.  Just turn the light on and peek in to see if the edges are golden.  My oven here tends to burn cookies, like EVERY time :(

So let me know if you try them, and like them!  I confess, I “tested” one already, and they are pretty dang good!  :)  (Hey, I’m surprised I stopped at one!)

Here’s to Summer!

Vegan Pineapple 'n Cream Cookies, The Swiss Wife-style

Hmm, they kind of look like fried eggs!

Dear Swiss Grocery Stores:

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(A letter I may or may not send…)

 

Dear Co Op,

I leave near Lausanne. I most often go to the Co Op in the Leman Center.

I can never seem to make it through a trip there, without leaving completely frustrated. Why is it, that EVERY time I go there, the shelves in EVERY aisle are being restocked? Today is Friday, before a long weekend holiday. I went there around 2pm. I kid you not, when I say that every single aisle had a huge restocking cart in it. Most often right in the middle of the aisle, so shopping carts couldn’t get by.

Now, I’m no grocery store expert, but it seems there could be a better time when this could be done.

And don’t feel like I’m singling you out either, because every time I go to Migros, it’s the same thing. Actually, I think I cried the last time I went there. I haven’t cried yet in Co Op, so bonus points for you I guess.

I just could not let this go without addressing it. I hope you answer me, because I really want to know if there’s some brilliant reason of restocking the shelves at the busiest time. And then having employees not even acknowledge me when I’m trying to gracefully get around their huge restocking carts. God forbid they make eye contact with me or try to be helpful in any way. It would seem to me that a smarter thing to do would be restock either before you open, or after you close. Or maybe you are just really trying to get people to try your online shopping and home delivery. If that’s the case, then well-played.

Frustrated, but none the less, warm regards;

 

Bitterness and Defeat

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When I was in college, I pledged a sorority.  It was probably one of the best decisions I made in my life.  Without it, I probably never would have met my husband.  I love that I can go a long time without seeing my sisters, and when I finally do, it’s like the old days.

Something has been nagging on my mind lately.  The biggest emotion I’ve been feeling lately, in regards to IF, is bitterness.  I’m just so bitter.  Every. Damn. Day.

It just sucks.  There’s no other way to describe it.  It effing sucks.  And there’s not a whole lot I can do about it.  Yes I had the surgery and had polyps removed.  So that’s a step forward.  But now what?  I emailed my most current doctor after I returned from vacation, and have yet to hear back from him.   This is extremely frustrating for someone going through IF, who needs a plan, and some direction.  I need to feel like we’re making progress, moving forward.  But instead, I just feel like “now what?”  So I’m just so bitter towards everyone.  My doctor, those who are pregnant, and those who have kids.

That’s a lot to be carrying around, all day every day.  Sure, on the outside, to the “public” I put on a happy face.  (And I really AM happy for friends who’ve been so lucky.)  But when I get home, there’s this little feeling that grows bigger and bigger, until it pretty much consumes me.  I’ve finally been able to put a name on it.  Demon, thy name is Bitterness.

So, back to the whole sorority thing.  A line in our Symphony, (our “open” creed) reads:

“An appreciation of real merit and worth, steadfastness of soul, that without bitterness or defeat we may encounter misfortune and with humility meet success.”

I have definitely not been encountering my misfortune without bitterness or defeat!  I’ve let it consume me.

I’m not sure what to do with this realization.  A part of me wishes that I could let it go.  (“Let it gooooo….”   Side note, I haven’t even seen Frozen yet!)  I know I’d feel better if this wasn’t nagging at me every day.

But on the other hand, HOW can I let it go?!  This “goal” that I’ve been so focused on for the past 2 and a half GD years!?  Don’t I deserve to be a little bitter after 3 GD miscarriages?  I’ve been pregnant more times that most anyone I know, and have nothing to show for it, but a ton of heartache.

Maybe I’d feel better if I had something to blame it on?  It may have been the polyps.  Who knows?  I’ll have to actually get pregnant again to see if de-polyping myself helped any.  But how do I know that the polyps haven’t grown again?

Part of me blames our location.  I feel like the doctors should take more of a personal interest in me, and be doing everything they can to get me pregnant, and help me carry to term.  Maybe I am fooling myself here?  How does it work where you are?  Do you feel like your doctor really cares about you, or do you just feel like one of the masses?

Anyway, like I said.  I’m not sure what to do with this realization that bitter is the new black.  It doesn’t make me feel good that I’ve been so NOT living the way I pledged to, all those years ago.  But how do you change how you feel?  You can’t just ignore your feelings, or pretend that you haven’t been dealt a shitty hand, in this circumstance.

I’m stumped.

Vacation

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I won’t be writing for a while. (What else is new?) I’m busy doing this:Image

Nothingness

Eh.

 

So.  Nothing really going on.  We got the go-ahead to start trying again after I got “de-polyp’d.”  So much wasted time……<steam coming from ears>  Meanwhile, every other female on the planet is pregnant.  (I know that’s not true, but that’s how it feels!)

I sure hope we are successful this cycle, because next month I’ll be gone, visiting my parents.  D was supposed to come with me, but he just started a new position and can’t take time off right now.  So…yeah.  I just felt that I needed this break/vacation, and in the grand scheme of things, what’s one more month added to the 2+ years?  Blah.  I need to “recharge.”  Life just pisses me off endlessly.   Not sure if this vacation will help that, but I don’t think it can hurt.  I don’t think it’s normal to be mad at the entire world, and everyone in it every day. 

So, that’s where I am these days.

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